DEMI SEBUAH RINDU :
Music & Mental Health
DEMI SEBUAH RINDU — a 9-song album about my rindu (longing) for you. To my son.
May these songs find their way to your heart.
And if they do, know this:
You have always been loved.
You have never been forgotten.
And I’ll be here — always.
Meet the Composer & Lyricist
Producer & Lyricist
Julie Ezwin
My journey with bipolar disorder led me to music, a way to turn grief and longing into prayers. This album is my heart made audible, my silence finally finding its sound in every lyrics.
Composer & Singer
Didie Shazry
A gifted music student with a soul far beyond his years. The winner of Raise The Star of Malaysia 2025. when I met Didie, I knew he was the one who could help turn my unsung grief into melodies. He poured his heart into these compositions - and through his voice I found a way to send mine.
Click to watch
MV Pendam
🎶 Pendam
I wrote this in the rain, outside and within. That piano by the window, once filled with his melodies, was now an echo of absence. The storm wasn’t just weather. It was the unraveling of years of "pendaman" — of suppressing pain, shame, trauma, and unanswered fears.
Click to watch
MV Open Up
🎶 Open Up
"OPEN UP" is a deliberate contrast to PENDAM, where I kept everything buried inside. If Pendam was my pain in silence, Open Up is my healing with courage.
Where Pendam was about all the pain I kept buried — the tears I never let fall in front of anyone — this one is about what I choose to do now.
This is me saying:
“I’m ready. No matter what happened, no matter how long you’ve been gone — I still love you, and my heart is open to welcome you back.”
It’s about opening my heart, regardless of how much it’s been hurt before.
Click to listen
Demi Sebuah Rindu
🎶 Demi Sebuah Rindu
“Demi Sebuah Rindu” speaks to any parent, child, or loved one torn apart by distance — whether emotional, physical, or caused by mental health struggles.
It's for the parents battling guilt, illness, and silence, yet still choosing love over bitterness.
It's for children estranged from their parents, unsure of how to come back — but deep down, still listening for a sign.
It's for anyone who has loved without reply — and still chooses to love anyway.
This song is also a mirror of the inner struggles faced by those with mental illness. The lyrics reflect emotional extremes — hope and despair, strength and surrender.
Click to listen to Cocoon
🎶 Cocoon
Your cocoon is not your prison. It’s your preparation. If you’re in a dark place now, it doesn’t mean you’re broken. Take your time.
But when you’re ready — fly. Even if your wings are shaky at first, you’ll find your way.
"Cocoon" is a quiet song — but inside, it carries the roar of unconditional love, the ache of self-reflection, and the hope of transformation.
“Cocoon” is more than a song. It’s a mirror — for every parent who waits, and every child who’s finding their way back to the light.
Click to listen to Yakini Janji
🎶 Yakini Janji
"Yakini Janji" based on my real-life drowning incident and the spiritual, emotional transformation that came from it.
"Yakini Janji" was born from one of the most terrifying moments of my life.
When my son was 8 years old, he almost drowned. I saw him struggling in the water, and without thinking, I jumped in to save him. But I ended up drowning too.
As I floated there, shaken and in tears, I made a promise to God.
A janji. A promise. That I would never give up. Not on my children. Not on myself.
No matter how dark it got, I would hold on to Him. I would hold on to that promise — that yakin — that He would always find a way to save us.
This song is not just about that day in the water. It’s about every time I was drowning — in pain, in depression, in questions I couldn’t answer. And how God, in His mercy, kept sending signs to remind me to believe.
Yakini Janji. Believe in the promise.
Soon to be released.
🎶Dakapan Ilahi
This song, Dakapan Ilahi, is the most sacred piece in this entire album. It carries our journey — your story and mine — woven together from the moment I first carried you, until now.
You were in my tummy when the world around us was so chaotic. I was supposed to fly to the UK, to chase my dreams.
But God had other plans. You arrived, and that changed everything.
From the moment I heard your heartbeat, I knew — you were the reason I had to keep going.
Soon to be released
🎶 Portrayed
Reflections on the Illusion of Perfection
In this age of social media, we are constantly bombarded by images of success, beauty, happiness, and seemingly perfect lives.
But behind those polished posts, I often wonder:
What’s the real story?
We’ve grown accustomed to curating our lives — showing only the best angles, the happiest days, the filtered moments. And slowly, that becomes the only version people know of us. The one we allow.
Social media has turned us into performers. Life becomes a stage where we act out a version of ourselves, curated for applause.
Let’s break the illusion, one truth at a time.
Let’s connect — not compare.
Let’s be real.
Soon to be released
🎶 Langit Itu
"Langit Itu" is how I’ve always found peace — by looking up.
I wrote this because I want you to remember: even when life pulls you in every direction, the sky remains and the One beyond it.
And so does your core.
“Langit Itu” is for when you feel lost. For when you’re chasing dreams. For when you forget who you are.
Let the sky remind you:
You are part of something bigger.
You were created with purpose.
And you'll never be truly lost… if you keep looking up.
Soon to be released
🎶 Berakhirkah Penantianku?
Will My Waiting Ever End?
It is not just a song — it’s a plea, a whisper, a prayer that I’ve kept quietly in my heart for years.
The question mark in the title is intentional. Because until today, I still don’t know if this waiting will end. I don’t know if this song, this effort, this music that comes from my soul... will reach his.
I’ve tried everything — through prayers, through silence, through letters, through space — and now, through this album.
And still, I ask: Will my waiting ever end?